Posted on: February 12, 2009 8:35 am

You want me to wear this???

We all have fragile egos. We want to be accepted if not loved by all. In personal relationships women and men are both fragile. Especially true around a Hallmark holiday like Valentines Day. For the single, not-involved man or woman it is a time of sadness, of longing, a recognition of something is missing. Or perhaps it is a time of reaffirmation in your decisions to be without a significant other. Possibly you are still reeling from an encounter that left you hurt.

If you are in a relationship it can be even worse. Pressure is applied to both men and women to proclaim their love in some new, over the top, romantic way that demonstrates to their partner and, more importantly, to their partner's friends (especially the woman's girl friends) that this fragile relationship is strong. Even married folks go through this because Oprah and Dr. Phil tell us we have to rekindle the love in the relationship - keep the sparks flying.

For men the pressure to show your love is awful. Striking the delicate balance between too much and too little. Too much sexy and you can turn her off, too little sexy and she will think you are not attracted to her. Too much candy and she will think you are trying to ruin her diet, too little and she will assume you think she is fat. A dozen roses? Please, why not two? A card from Hallmark, that's trouble because it did not come from your heart. You can't win. Ladies- give them a break!

For the lady we have to accept the "nothing there" lingerie and model it for you so you can tear it off. But it is embarassing, especially if she does not feel physically up to the standard portrayed by society as sexy. All ladies have body issues. For me, my breasts are too small which makes it hard to fill out the C+ cup bra, teddy, cami, etc. that you lovingly picked out. Men- give us a break!

But nothing is worse than planning a big event to every last detail. Everything is just right. You even took the time to build up the event. To get him or her excited yo ugave them some details of what was to come, perhaps you even called it life changing in ways only you can imagine. S/He is properly stimulated now. But at the reveal, the moment arrives with an audible thud. Hopes are dashed, hearts are broken. On Tuesday we all bore witness to just such a courtship. For weeks there was build-up as hints were exchanged. Proclamations were made. Impatient people were chastized. Non supporters of the relationship were bitterly scolded over and over. "I know what I am doing," he said. "And I am right to do this! You will see, she will love me for my actions."

Well that was not the case, our erstwhile lover was rebuked. Tim was his name and the girl he was courting was America. Mr. Geithner and his boss, Obama, proclaimed the necessity of the stimulus, it finally passed, and then they rolled out a new bank bailout plan. The more they talked about it during the day, the more the Dow sank. It resulted in a 4.6% loss on Wall Street. 4.6% of the trillions of dollars invested on Wall Street evaporated. Ofcourse it will balance back out and yesterday it rebounded a little. The rebuke must sting Mr. Obama. You came on prime time monday night and lectured the smart people of Washington and Wall Street. You told them how smart you were and how dumb they were. You are not working with them. You were quoted as saying that most if not all economists agree that something big must be done. This week the WSJournal has had a myriad of opinion piece written by nobel laureate economists and academian economists at prestigious schools panning your plan. I'd like to hear you spin that. And by the way, instead of saying this is the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression (a fear tactic) why don't you tell the truth. This is the worst economic crisis since the Carter Administration. Which was fixed by Reaganomics. Lowered all taxes and CUT government spending as a percentage of the GDP from 1981 to 1982 to 1983 and then he maintained it for the remainder of his eight years. It worked.

I will leave you all with a great piece of advise. If you want to get the right gift for your lady or man (or country for that matter) all you have to do is listen. Listen to what she wants. If she hasn't said so, ask her what she wants. And listen. In the end, be tender, speak with a loving voice and tell us something you love about us.

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